debates and debacles

When the decision is between two titles such:

1. Shania Twain's "Man! I feel like a Woman" and

2. It is now time for "Silly Songs with Larry"by the silly but oh so grand Veggie Tales

I realize just how mental my mind truly is.

This summer has been a sweet whirlwind of adventure. So many incredible lessons learned (still learning and working through), incredibly fun moments with dear friends and prayerfully growth in Christ as He continues to mold me into the woman He desires (if only I could do that gracefully). It makes me content where God has me right now in this season, in this state, in this town.

But when bad news strikes to a best friend who is not near me...discontentment and the desire to be there is so overwhelming. How do you serve and pour out love on your beloved sister in Christ when numerous miles separate the two? The love and service of Jonathan and David in 1 Samuel comes to mind during this time. Pulled apart for a season but still united in Christ and his eternal promises. I am only too aware of how I am completely unable to 'fix' anything, that my best service right now is in prayer. Begging my Beloved to hug my friend and just hold her so close to His heart...and selfishly enough for an opportunity soon to give her a hug as well.

Such an incredible Sovereign and Holy King we serve.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him." Ephesians 1:3-4

So the reason for the random song choices at the beginning, well I suppose that ties in to the fact that even the mist of heartache, there is joy and so many other various emotions that come in a single moment of life. Things like enjoying sweet fellowship with friends, girls weekends, running a 5k for the first time and laughter over the small silly moments of life in all of its randomness. Thankfulness in the good and the bad.

Oh and this song....crazy great.

For the moments I feel faint...

*Warning*

This post makes very little sense and is full of my insanely ridiculous thought processes- continue at your own risk.

The mind can be an adventurous place, of late I find myself in a carnival like landscape. One moment enjoying the sights from a tall Ferris wheel, the thrills of a great rides on roller coasters- the joy of wind blowing through hair and giggles from crazy drops and turns. Then in a blink of an eye in a room full of mind-boggling mirrors- that distort and twist reality into the monsters of the unknown, making it easy to want to close my eyes and run (yes with my eyes close...I wonder how far I could get?).

Clearly the thrill seeker in me likes that idea of my mind being such a colorful and exciting place...or the fact that I just simply have not been to enough carnivals to satisfy my childlike heart that I have to think in such terms. Perhaps a bit dramatic, but who am I kidding it runs in the family and every once in a while it is fun to channel it.

All of that to say, I am so incredibly thankful for the promises, hopes and truths that God has given me to stand firmly upon. Dwelling on such things, makes the good and bad of this adventure seem not 'safe' but... secure. The awe of Him having me in the palm of His hand allows me to bask in the fact that I have a:

• Creator who wants me to seek Him daily (loving 1 Chronicles 16:11, Psalm 27:4, Psalm 27:8)

• A God who knows I can only love Him because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19).

(here is a crazy great message from Spurgeon about this overwhelming love)

• And that because of this love- daily I am to renew my mind in such a forever faithful God (Romans 12:2).

• He knows I am made of dust and His mercies are great!! (Psalm 103:13-14)

Suddenly those carnival mirrors that reveal my fears have far less of a hold on my thoughts and my heart. I rest my hope, my all in such a good King. May He be forever glorified!!!

The Wonder Years

As I wandered around on my evening walk, my heart was busy taking note of some sweet things happening around me and reminiscing on sweet memories of my own.

some of my evening favorites:

Watching an elderly couple walk to their car holding hands and then him opening the car door for his bride...

Young love blooming as they feed ducks...

Boys being boys as they climb trees to scare little girls...

I am so incredibly thankful for this season in my life, completeness in Christ alone and the peace of His hand over my life.

Psalm 139

Until then.

Failure is a seven letter word that still trips me up...

and yes, i did have to count those letters. it never ceases to amaze me how easily it is for me to become so focused on myself. prime example, how many times did I just refer to myself in the previous sentence...point made- anyways. all of this to say, my quiet time has not been what it needs to be. i have not had my eyes set on Christ and His will. i have been absorbed in busyness. when did serving for Christ and in Him steer off into serving out of my own strength?

A dear friend was sweet to remind me (or gently rebuke me is more like it) (thanks dear one) that being human means that failure is basically ingrained in me. i am not going to be able to please people all the time (and i should not)
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Gal. 1:10
handling every situation that comes about in this lifetime with grace does not just happen, it is something that God is going to work out in me.

i love this passage from Romans 5: 1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

i love these promises God has made to me. i love His Sovereignty. i love His glory. i love His faithfulness. i love His mercy. and i pray that He continues to transform this unworthy vessel as He sees fit.

His love overwhelms me, you know what i mean?